what is your narrative when you are looking at yourself?

Top photo is Zoom video without filter Bottom photo is with filter

Click on the photo to watch the video of me diving into this topic a bit more

We are approaching a year since the majority of people have landed in the remote world. As the days pass and I stare at myself through the lens of the Zoom camera I often have a narrative going on in my head. I realized I am spending more time looking at myself than I ever have before.

Yesterday I shared on Instagram the following words:

Before each one of my classes I just stare at myself. Sometimes its just a couple mins sometimes it's 15-20 mins. I don't wear makeup for classes, none of my fancy jewelry and my hair is tied back in a bun. So, it's just purely me.
At times I can go to all the things "wrong" with me. I need a chemical peel, it's definitely time to consider Botox, why has my eye become wonky, this and that part of my body has changed, blah blah blah... But on great (more and more) days I can say damn I have come a long way, I can actually look myself in the eyes and say "you have come a long fucking way, you look perfect and it sure is not bad for 40"

An interesting thing followed. I joined a conference call and the conversation lead to how we look on camera. This is when I learned you could add a filter on Zoom. I woke this morning still thinking about this so I recorded this video diving a bit deeper into this topic.

My offer to you is, what are you saying to yourself when you are looking at yourself? What parts of that narrative may need to change a bit?

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If you are on Facebook I have created a group called Fill Your Soul with Kim feel free to join the conversation there or go over to Fill Your Soul with Kim on my website, kimberlymadigan.com, where you can have conversations with others.

If these videos speak to you, you know someone these may speak to or you just love me and want to spread the love please share these posts and invite more people to join.

If you want to have further conservations with me one on one feel free to reach out to me at kmadigan@kimberlymadigan.com

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All material and information presented by Kimberly Madigan is intended to be used for educational purposes only. The statements made about products, supplements, or treatments have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). The information on kimberlymadigan.com is not intended to treat, cure, or prevent any condition or disease. Please consult with your own physician or health care practitioner before making changes to your diet, exercise routine, or lifestyle.

Setting Goals During an Uncertain Time

Setting Goals During an Uncertain Time

I recently saw a great post that really got me thinking by The Herbal Scoop.  She asked, “how are you writing your business plan for 2021”?  We are still in a Pandemic, social in-justices are still happening, people are still surprised that social injustices are occurring, and businesses are still unsure how to proceed.

I was thinking about the same thing, let us remember things show up in our lives when you need it.

When reflecting how I wanted to tackle this I decided I wanted to first reflect on where I lost energy in 2020.  I had amazing takeaways from 2020 but I definitely lost time.  I lost a ton of time worrying about how other people would perceive me, I lost a ton of energy on wondering why so many people were SHOCKED that there IS injustice and I lost even more energy just being sad or angry instead of doing something about it. 

So, how am I approaching 2021? Here is what I came up with.

1.     Where was energy lost in 2020? 

This may seem a bit easy for some and harder for others.  The WooWoo side of me says this goes hand and hand with receiving what you are giving.  If you are putting out a lot of strong emotions, you are going to receive a lot of strong emotions.  I spent a lot of my days in the beginning of 2020 angry or I was inconsolably sad.  This was nothing to do with things that were directly affecting me but how things in the world were affecting everyone around me.  It was not until the end of Q3 that I finally got my head out of my ass and said how am I going to make a difference because the only thing I can control is how I react to things.  That was when my teaching completely changed, I started meeting new people that matched my energy (virtually) and developed and launched Fill Your Soul at the end of 2020. 

For this year it is about keeping that momentum going.  What is going to be next, what energy am I going to attract and where will my focus be? 

Remembering to keep my focus on “the only thing I can control is my reaction”.

2.     What are my absolutely nots, what will I say no to?

This part is a bit harder because it is hard to turn down money especially when jobs are not coming easily these days but going back to #1 it is important to have an idea of what the absolutely nots are.  When approached on new business opportunities or jobs what are my boundaries.  Am I confident in my boundaries and can I stay firm?  This list is still being developed and will always be ever changing.  Some absolutely nots that I had a year or two ago are things I may be open to now.

One of the main reasons I need this list is because I do struggle with holding boundaries and money can easily drive decisions.  If approached with a job that could be tempting because of money I need to have the list in the forefront of my mind so I do not break my boundaries and turn my energy away from my goals and ultimately my True North.

*****When stating True North here this is my internal moral compass.  This looks different for everyone******

3.     What is my big goal?

This is not to feel let down when it does not happen in the timeframe that I am hoping for but more to ensure my energy is going in the right direction and I am taking work and surrounding myself with people that will help me get to that goal.

4.     The biggest reminder….

Have grace!  Find Ease!  My word this year to stay focused is EASE.  This means allowing the ebbs and flows to happen.  If the goal adjusts, have ease.  If the goal does not come “soon enough” have ease, if I allowed my boundaries to breakdown have ease.

How are you approaching your personal and professional goals this year?

The New World of Being Remote

I recently began teaching again.  My yoga studio looks vastly different!

Teaching remotely has taught me so much. I was someone that worked remotely in the hospitality industry for years, thought I was comfortable with technology and being on camera. However, I quickly figured out I had to chuck all of that comfort out that window.  I wanted this, I wanted to teach, I wanted to work and yet I was faced with not doing my best work, not by a long shot. After several classes and tears I was able to make small adjustments to continue to improve and do the best I could for that day, for that class.

My first set up was just my Microsoft Surface on the back of a chair.  The lighting was terrible, the sound was echoing, I could not see the students on my surface screen, so I was saying “looks great” but did it, did they need better alignment cues. The students are all in the same room together so I find myself easily distracted by what was happening in the room I could not see.  The frame does not allow for me to see all the students in the room and I was not connecting to the students as well as I wanted to like if I was in person.  I was losing confidence quickly.  This was not my best work.

After each class I would breakdown what I could do better.

Lesson one:

I moved to another room with better lighting, had more space and did not echo.  I also began wearing Bluetooth headphones.  The headphones helped draw me in, cancel out any other noise around me and allowed me to feel like I was not yelling.

Lesson two:

I needed to see the room better.  I attached an HDMI cord to my Surface and gingerly propped it onto my TV.  Allowing the camera to be at a better angle and allowing me to see the students much better.

Lesson three:

Prep, I did not always write my entire classes in detail prior to going remote.  However, I found I could easily get distracted teaching remotely due to what is happening around me or what is happen in the student’s room. I had huge pads of paper I now write my sequence on.  I also have a second pad that I write little nuggets of knowledge or quotes on so I am not using filler words all the time.

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The set up pictured is for a Yoga chair class, thus the chair.  The angle of the camera also works for a mat class.

The Surface is just on the TV by its kickstand.  My TV is just the right thickness to hold it and I have yet to have an accident.  This may not work for everyone.  I believe there are brackets out there that can assist with this.

The pads of paper are supported by a small foot stool that I begin my class sitting on to check-in and do the beginning meditation.  I also end class here for the ending meditation and final check in.  This is where the paper in front of the TV comes in.  These are quotes, meditations and / or readings I think will be good for this particular class.

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I would love to hear about or see some of your set-ups. It does not have to be for a yoga or other fitness class. I am still working through my desk space. What do your home offices look like, what is your favorite type of equipment (microphone, camera, boxes to hold your computer)?

I am Angry, I am Sad & I am Grateful

I am so angry–

Anger has become a primary emotion for me when it has not been for MANY years

I am angry that I am grieving the loss of my Grandmother in the middle of all this shit

I am angry that I am watching my friends lose their jobs in a blink of an eye

I am angry that I just started teaching yoga full-time and now am left with the uncertainty of when I will have income again

I am angry that I am watching men and women that worked so hard to build their dream with either a name they created or with a name they fought for and are paying for (IE: Hilton, Marriott, Hyatt) are watching those dreams wash away in a matter of a few days

I am angry that people believe they are above this virus either because they believe they are young and healthy or because they believe they live a better life than the next

I am angry I have found myself being judgmental

I am angry that I am grieving the fact I just launched my website for keeping yourself mentally and physically healthy while on the

I am angry that I am grieving the fact I just launched my website for keeping yourself mentally and physically healthy while on the road… Well who the fuck is going to be traveling anytime soon or worried about that

 I am so grateful -

My gratitude runs deeper and always brings me back and allows the anger to melt away

I am grateful I have been able to take this time to be quiet, process my own thoughts with no outside influences

I am grateful for my therapist that tells me how it is whenever I need it

I am grateful for the time to finally read all the books I stockpiled for years

I am grateful of all the people that surround me

I am grateful I established my dream home in my dream location

I am grateful I set myself up a few years ago that I have been able to maintain being debit free with a small savings

I am grateful I can sit quietly and remember everything my Grandmother taught me and ensure I am bringing that through even more now

I am grateful I can do yoga virtually with so many amazing teachers I have not been able to practice with in so many years Sol Gathering Wellness and Pink Lotus Yoga

I am grateful being able to use technology to draw my circle in closer & add more people along the way

I am grateful for my body

I am grateful the earth can heal

For over a week now I have been sitting with being either angry or complete sadness.  These emotions may be interchangeable, but the reasons why were the same.  I used to say, with a chuckle, if people would just act right…. Well fuck, literally right now if people would just act right. One of my favorite sayings is “save to draft” meaning do not put anything out there without sitting on it first to ensure it is not emotionally fueled.  Well, I am emotionally fueled and am unsure when that will stop. You know what?  That is okay.  It is okay to spend your days not organizing your pantry or working on the greatest masterpiece ever.  It is okay to be angry, sad, resentful, scared, all the feelings. 

I felt like I was going through the stages of grief early last week.  I had just started interviewing for jobs to get back into the hotel industry. Honestly, some I had turned down. thank goodness because I would have been the first to go or been in office during this time and my panic would have not made me successful.  I was also finding my groove as a yoga teacher.  All of this came to a screeching halt.  My friends were losing their jobs or were having to lay-off people that had been their “family” members for years.  Then the icing on my cake was my Grandmother passed away.  The stages of grief started all over ago, this time for a whole other reason. 

Close to a decade now I have lived in gratitude.  This is not a buzz word for me, I truly will end each day being grateful for whatever experiences I had that day, what I was facing or just for the pure fact I was where I was in that moment in time.  This has not changed through these last couple weeks.

I did not want to just throw all those emotions into this universe without a solution.  I sat on this for days figuring what how I could build off this.  You know what, each day is different.  Some days I wake up and I just sit with all the feelings and other days I do not stop moving because I do not want to sit with them all.  Yesterday I did yoga, took a bike ride and came back and manually started turning the soil in my garden.  Today, I have read, and I will work in the garden again and woke with the strong desire to do a new vision board this way I am look towards the future. 

This all to say you are not alone.  I am grateful, I am sad, I am angry and some days I feel it all.

working from home during stressful times

Unplanned/Unscheduled working from home can be stressful for everyone involved.

Team Members have a hard time concentrating, hard time finding balance and are working in an environment they are not used to.

Managers are managing in a way they probably never had to before and to add more to this we are in an uncertain time.

Do not let these uncertain times cause you to be fear driven and make rash decisions.  The best advice I ever received was “save to draft” in other words before sending an email or making that phone call make sure that what you are saying is not emotional driven.

Nothing is exactly simple during tough times but hope this helps those that are a little stuck working from home.

For Team Members

Set a routine from day one

• Keep your home morning routine the same, do your morning routine the same as you do now, including getting dressed as if you are going to work

• Set proper start and end times.  When working from home it is easy to work over the normal time you would in the office.  There is always work to be done.

• Take a lunch break like you normally would

• During lunch break take time to Facetime with friends or family that are also at home, do a meditation or go for a walk

Set up a place in your home for working to help you feel a little more normal

Try to not let distraction interfere with your work just like if you were at the office

• House cleaning

• Pets

• Kids (I know with school closures this maybe a bit more difficult)

Have patience

• Have patience with yourself, no need to get frustrated. It is just a slight change in scenery

• Have patience with your owners/managers, this is a stressful / uncertain time for everyone

• Have patience with your clients, customers, whomever you are working with

At the end of your day

• Try to clear away your work stuff so it is not in your face during none work hours

• Get outside before the sun goes down and breathe in the fresh air (even if it is cold)

• Do something physical, you been sitting inside all day during this stressful time.

For Managers

First remember that everything above goes for you too.

Have patience

Be understanding

Be the example

Have conference calls or Zoom calls, it will be essential to stay connected

Trust and faith will be everything for your team

• These are people you have had trust in previously continue to have this trust. 

• Your trust or lack of trust will be felt by your team members

• Be as open and honest as you can be

At the end of the day STOP working

For Everyone

If you do not have a meditation routine start one even as little as 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night.

Be physically active

Get outside even just for a few minutes to get fresh air and see the sun

Stay connected to people outside your home. Speak to people on the phone, via Facetime, ect

Remember to breathe

Be there for one another and support one another vs taking each other down. Remember to come from a place of compassion & understanding.

Not So Secret Sauce To A Road Warriors life

Spending most of the last decade on the road 100% of the time I found myself quite burnt out.  Looking back now I know the cause of my burn out was because I had become a workaholic, with all seriousness, I was addicted to avoiding anything but work.  It was when I “woke-up” one day and realized I did not want to spend another 10 years like this and sadly I was way past the point of burn out to fix it without taking a break to reset.

So, here are a few lessons I learned too late:

Set Boundaries Ahead of Time

FIRST do you need to physically take this trip. So much can be done through video conferencing.  Remember it is not just your time but also those you are coming to see. For you it maybe 3 days out of pocket for a 4-hour long meeting.

Set dinner plans for a reasonable time, if you took a 5:45 AM EST flight do not make dinner plans for 8:30 PM PST

Book your flight for an appropriate time for all parties, understanding budgets matter, but understand your time and energy cost money too, do not always sacrifice your time and “just power through”

Set the time when your day will end.  Completely end, no more emails, time to start your evening routine with no work involved.

Nutrition

Planning your meals

Thinking of your food ahead of time assists with making good decisions and not leave you reaching for anything from anywhere when you get hungry

Pick a hotel with a restaurant or with restaurants within walking distant

If you check a bag or drive an immersion blender is small and easy to pack

With Shipt, InstaCart and Amazon Fresh (in select areas) you can now get your food delivered right to your hotel room.

Salad fixings are great options and easy to prepare in the room for lunches

Some hotels may even have kitchenettes or even grills outside to cook food on

Smoothies fixings if you have your immersion blender.  Also, if you stay at the same hotel every week or so they may hold a blender for you.

You CAN fly with solid foods.  This is often is a misunderstanding, but solid food is okay to fly with.  I often would make protein balls ahead of time to bring with me. These were a life saver when the plane got delayed when I was trying to avoid the food (and alcohol) at the airport

Avoid Alcohol on the road.  Alcohol has a ton of sugar that can affect your sleep that is already difficult on the road…. And so many other reasons to avoid but let’s stick to making sure you sleep well on the road

Fitness/Wellness:

Set a routine right away, your well-being is the first thing pushed away when time does not permit

There is so many resources now that can assist with your physical activity

Hotels are getting much more advance with their fitness center,

I worked in the hotel I was staying in, so I preferred not to work out next to the guy I just checked in

Hilton Full-Service Brands are starting to recognize this importance and designing rooms called 5 feet to fitness, keep an eye out for these

MindBody App was my personal favorite it has all ranges of fitness centers and you can search by time, location and style

Classpass has exploded onto the market and you can pay one fee and get nationwide classes, understand your points maybe very different per city you’re in.  There is even a corporate package that may entice your Human Resource Department to purchase for the whole company

Jade Travel Mat is super small and can be folded up and fits in your front pocket of your suite case and can easily rolled out in your room no matter the size.  Great apps for this is Glo or even YouTube (checkout Yoga 4 Change channel, for a great cause, classes and meditations)

Meditation!

You will do physical exercise for your body, try to eat healthy foods and clean your body but if you do not cleanse your brain burnout will still happen. There are lots of apps for this too my current favorite is Sound True right now. 

A Routine that May Work

When reflecting back I did have wonderful weeks on the road when burnout was not 100% present and I felt I had control of my schedule.  Here is an example of one of those great weeks

Since my flight was slightly delayed and I would not have time to stop at store I had my groceries delivered to the hotel through Shipt

Took the time on the night I arrived to prepare my salads for next few days lunches

              Found a 6 AM power yoga class 5 mins from hotel, no excuses

              Making a smoothie in my room with my immersion blender

              Headed downstairs no later than 8 AM (remember I worked in the hotel I stayed)

I checked in with the team and made it very clear with the team when my day would end, they held me accountable for ending my day. 

For dinner I would try to head out of the hotel.  I was lucky enough that one of my close friends lived in Buffalo now, so I was able to make plans with her one of the days I was there. Finding a new local spot and possibly even finding a local attraction to checkout

I ended each night with a wonderful conversation with someone not work related (keeping those personal connections), meditation, a warm glass of tea and my favorite book or TV show

Tale of a Road Warrior

On July 19th, 2019 I walked out of one of my favorite hotels in Buffalo, NY knowing that was my last moment working for a company I spent my entire early adulthood with and grew my entire professional career through.   I loved my company and loved the hospitality industry, but as many road warriors I was burnt out.  

Beginning in early 2012 I hit the road running.  I had become a road warrior.  I spent nearly 100% of the time spending much of my time focused on the hotels I oversaw.  I often had no boundaries, starting my day at 7 AM, this being if I had already flown in if not it would generally start at 4 AM, and not retiring back to my room with whatever delivery food I got until after 8 PM where I would spend another 2 hours answering emails. 

I left no time for myself. I was eating terribly and was barely leaving room in my life for friends and family (which they all got very use to me not being around).

This was not without trying to change things, without trying to approach work differently, without trying to approach my lifestyle differently, but I was not taking the time to find the tools and when I would look nothing would really land really land or stick.  I was a true workaholic that was ready to change.

The only option I could land on was it was just time to hit the stop button.